After the service, Kat tried to shush her inner demons as she stood in a line of people waiting to offer condolences to Aunt Penny. Kat had never felt comfortable around Penny. To be clear, Kat thought, she didn’t like herself when she was in Aunt Penny’s presence: she felt needy, yearning for acceptance and for Penny’s approval. The feelings reminded Kat of grade school when she was always the new kid on the block.
Her family had moved frequently due to her father’s growing business. A fresh start if you needed one, but often a challenge to navigate the closely bound dynamics of a class full of children who had been together since kindergarten. Aunt Penny seemed to trigger the same reactions, Kat mused, noticing that she was often afraid of saying the wrong thing, anxious to please Penny, and desperate to not compromise her own values along the way.
The woman ahead of Kat was talking with her husband, but due to the mandatory mask policy, her voice could be heard as she whispered loudly: “He had no life insurance you know; Penny is going to be scrambling to make ends meet.” Her husband’s reply was lost as he leaned forward to speak in her ear, putting his back to the crowd and cutting her off from the room.
Uncle Carl had been laid out in the Serenity Resting Room of the McGruder funeral home. It was a large space with worn carpets and wood trim around the many tall narrow windows. The walls’ pale cream paint was dotted with gold framed paintings of pastoral scenes, and along the front were graceful wooden stands holding the many flower arrangements close to the coffin. The line of mourners snaked around the back and side walls, with small groups sitting or standing in the centre. Two children, wearing light yellow dresses and white bows in their hair, were playing not far from the flowers. Their mother, also wearing a deep yellow frock which was hastily covered with a black shawl, had apologized for their joyful clothes: they were standing up in a wedding later that afternoon and had no time to go home and change outfits.
Kat listened to the noises of the crowd: the low hum of soft chatter interspersed with an occasional laugh, quickly hushed with a guilty glance at the recently bereaved. In the far-left corner, a group of men’s voices were raised and just as hurriedly quieted. Kat recognized a few of them: Mark Mason was the owner of the hardware store on main street, General Murphy ran the Bingo Hall, and Steven Cornfield owned the pharmacy.
Hmmm. They all had businesses on the same block as Candy and Comfort. Something was plainly bothering them: their voices had risen again, and Kat could hear the General say that trouble was coming and they should all prepare. The two other men nodded, then dispersed into the crowd.
The General made his way over to Kat, shaking his head as he joined the waiting line: “It’s an ill wind that blows, Kat, mark my words. We aren’t done with unpleasant surprises”. Kat was shocked by his comment, and wanted to follow up, but the line had been slowly shuffling and she was now standing next to Aunt Penny.
As Kat opened her mouth to speak to Penny, the General cut in and addressed Penny directly: “Here Penny. You’ll need to talk with Kat once this is over. We aren’t out of the woods yet.” His words made no sense to Kat. What was going on?
Penny nodded and reached out to Kat, enveloping her in a hug. As Kat tried to find her balance, Penny whispered: “Come see me tonight. We can’t wait. It has to be tonight”.
With that, she pulled back and turned to the next mourner. Kat hadn’t managed to say one word of condolence. Bewildered, she turned to the General. He nodded and also took his leave.
Kat stood alone next to the casket, and turned to look down at Uncle Carl. His face still wore its jovial expression, as though he had just laid down for a short rest on the light blue silk pillow.
Beside Kat the playing children bumped into one of the wooden columns and the flower arrangement teetered precariously. Kat grabbed it quickly, righting the stand and setting the flowers back in place. “Let’s get you two back to your mom, shall we?”.
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