J Lo

I like Jennifer Lopez, and I don’t care what you think about that.

Well, maybe I care. And maybe that’s why I admire J Lo.

I just watched a series of short clips about Jennifer Lopez. She kept reaching out and touching people while she spoke with them. She laughed. She hugged Ellen when Ellen was pulling away because Jennifer said she had bronchitis. She said she is close to her children, and hasn’t stopped hugging them, despite the fact that they are now teenagers who try to pretend they have no parents. She’s had some spectacular fails and been picked apart in the media, and yet... here she is, once more on the cover of People magazine speaking about love. Taking big emotional risks.

I admire, ok maybe I even envy, that ability to love fully without restraint. To dance so close to the fire, get burned, and dance again.

Anyone like me have experiences of trying to fit in? Contorting yourself to present the right

views, have the right attitude, express the right amount of emotion, in order to belong? It

doesn’t work, does it? You are left feeling awkward: somehow always guarded and working for approval and acceptance.

“Belonging is a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.”

Brené Brown; Atlas of the Heart; p.159; Random House ©2021

So where do belonging and loving-fully intersect? I don’t think my bosses would have been happy had I been running around the office every day showering hugs on everyone and giving my honest opinion about the managers’ latest interpretation of a ministry directive that impacted our daily work. I probably would have been not-so-gently escorted to the door instead of surviving 26 years in an environment where huge responsibility could not be paired with equal decision-making ability. Michelle’s Version of What Should Happen was not always aligned with funder requirements. – Or Manager Interpretation of those requirements.

I think the secret lies in the last 5 words “without sacrificing who we are”: Over the years I

have learned that one of the hardest things to do is to just be yourself, and let others react as they want.

This blog will be a story of my adventures, sometimes external, sometimes internal, as I

navigate this new identity as retiree.

Dance on J Lo! I’ve got your back.